This morning also waking… urgent. Until the Suporn clinic writes back to me – I wrote them a week ago and then on Thursday – I will worry, what if they didn’t like my tone or chose to ignore me, something like that? Irrational but very S. Until I’ve confirmed I can book a date not too far away, and that it’s within my budget when combined with the refurbishment and accounting for uncertainty, so that I know it’s on its way, I’ll be a little anxious. I crave SRS now as soon as I can have it, subject to all my caveats on quality and security and preparing my life properly. I long for it, feel distressed awaiting it. Half wanting to go with Chettawut anyway just to get there quicker. But this, if it works, is probably the right path.
Probably I need this waiting time for confirmation right now, because it presents the necessary thought experimental stimulus. I sense other reservations melting away because the need to get there is quite strong.
lost in transition 