stat

This morning is one of… anxiety? Feeling everything is 50% harder and seeing 100% more possible things that can go wrong. Also dysphoric quite a bit, stomach lurching from mirror image. I think the main thing is, I decided to try for Suporn rather than Chettawut and they have not answered me yet, so that feels entirely uncertain, as does the situation with whether I have enough saved at this point enough if surprise home repairs also happen. It all _should_ work out, they should get back to me within a few more days and I can make a plan. Hopefully they will also confirm their USP namely that some revision guarantee still holds so I am not in an actual emergency in case of the rarest possible complications.

But not having a definite surgery date actually grates really heavily on me now, this is interesting. I need to know it’s coming, it’s bounded. I need to know I’ve done all I could. I don’t want to continue with my present anatomy any longer than I have to, by which I mean, really no longer than I have to in the slightest. Inanna, please let me be fixed soon.