It used to be the case that whenever I was attracted to someone, it was always due to properties I would want for myself, I would be drawn only to things I also would want to be embody. I long parsed my feelings about myself so as to this being something that was only logical, certainly every person would – should – also want to embody all properties they found attractive? This seems not always to be the perspective of other people.

In any case, I am now experiencing some cases where people are interesting or attractive in the sense that I am drawn to them and fascinated by them, but they do not register to that part of my mind that notes their appearance as something I would like to embody. This is new and alien to me, and I suppose it is not as new to others.