moonwater

I’m beginning to read Sunstone again. It showed up way in the past, and I read what was then there, but back then I did not know what I was (did not know myself as a woman, which meant I could not quite know myself as domme either), and though it caught me, it was not quite so strong.

Now it was recommended to me again – by incidence – and with some additional contexts casting shadows around it that fall elsewhere. But like with “Pattern Recognition”, what I learned since changes the reading much. First, I recognize so much more. From the nerdy trans woman domme – who wears the same kind of virtually unique glasses as I! sight lenses set into reading glass frames so as not to hide any eye makeup! – to the dynamics and nervosity and perhaps most importantly, I recognize now similar wants and preferences and kinks in myself; where I felt alien from the story back then, it feels like it is almost scarily literally describing realities of my life in the present moment.

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That is glorious and delightful and I am very happy to find it so. Will see how it progresses. Today is an incredibly hectic day, stressful. Being able to read the comic in-between in transit helps me recharge a little. This will be good. On another note, seems the price for Dr Enki’s services is not as high as I thought, hospital stay costs are within the quote I already had. So while I still will try for the insurance solution, given another year I could still pay privately. This calms and makes me long for the body I will have.

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On yet another note, six-seven weeks without shaving gives me about a dozen actual long beard hairs. They bother me but just waiting another two days and I will finally have them electrolyzed off. There won’t be many more sessions now.