dream

Even more cruddy, dirty NSFW for no reason except it somehow feels meaningful how I evolve. After going to sleep, I had a rare erotic dream continuing from the evening. I was with a man who may have been Stiff from the club; he was in boxers and I in panties. I asked if I could come, hoping for a yes, and he gave some answer. Dream me considered it enough. I was on top of him, and rubbed myself through underwear against his muscled warm torso until I came; I was midway between dream and wakefulness when that happened, and then I awoke. There is still fluid when this sort of thing happens, clear fluid, and the mess of that and the violence of the contractions detract from pleasure for me. I wish I could come without any fluids, and without the focus and attention cold and wetness and contractions bring to my current anatomy. I wish I could gain or receive pleasure and stay relaxed. Under the right circumstances I sort of can, somewhat. A lot of sexual wishes, and growing obstacles to their realization. Need to work to go forward.