Aaaaand… I’m returning again to longing for the proper genitals. Is that the word? It feels like what I am saddled with is out of place, meaningless. I’m suspecting the core is, my view of myself changed to one I am happier with, and that changed frames of reference.
(Was thinking of kink events, and how I too would like to feel OK with getting nude, and how I currently am not.)
Next steps in any case, set up perineal laser appointment and slowly save up for SRS. Also stay healthy, get fit exercise-wise and lose some more weight, all to become as ready as I can to undergo a medical procedure like that.
(EDIT: Huh. I literally feel jealous of cis women for something so basal as their intimate parts, for casually having that anatomy and being able to inhabit it in interaction without anyone questioning it. I suppose that is where I am.)
lost in transition 