So, six months on HRT. Not disappointed. (Refusing the “tranniversary” term, I think.)
Feeling of calm largely still there (relative to life and all). Doubts largely gone, helped also by being fully out.
Body changes modest but there. Need to take weight cycling/loss seriously now. All the same, breasts slowly growing, hips may be slowly manifesting. Lips may be a little fuller. Body hair growing back soft. Feeling OK.
Plenty of other posts here already about my growing genital dysphoria and surgery ruminations, so need not repeat. Instead I’ll say laser has delivered – after a year now there still is the feel of stubble in places left to remove, but I don’t think I have much of a shadow any longer even without makeup, and shaving has become mostly a habit.
Sexuality evolution: Happily mellow bi girl open for almost anything but with more important things to think about? See also: I transition into the type of person I used to crush on.
Emotional availability: Crying and, to a smaller extent, laughing. Still not there where I want. I seek moments to express and feel emotions I don’t have a word or proper association pathways for. Given those exist, I think I still have not broken through dissociation fully, there is something in there that I want to reach. I’m moving slowly in that direction. Probably a matter of time, with the three aspects (medical, social, internal) of transition interacting. Will see.
I wonder where I will be after a year, or two, or five?
lost in transition 