loss

Another thing. Freaked out into anger and panicky anxiety when someone shot a water gun into my face during the parade. They thought they were being helpful and did so to everyone. My companions helped me get back into function. To me it is the same as what I blogged about here: https://lost-in-transition.tumblr.com/post/164705382944/what-messy-moments-feel-like

That is, I so rely on makeup or grooming to reduce dysphoria that I am deeply shaken from fearing its violation. I find this interesting as it points to how much dysphoria I actually feel, but keep away through coping strategies like these.