My chaos comes to a culmen. I am on a train towards Bruxelles, tomorrow I will defend my research project. Knowing I may be the first openly trans person to interview, and likely the first to transition while the application was evaluated, makes it even more important I succeed. I am extremely stressed right now from a million sources.
The gel estradiol delivery is a hassle. It bothers me that I can’t tell if my emotions now are because it does not work well, or because it works well and my responses to the stress therefore are more volatile. I just know I feel very close to crying.
But I’ll do my best. Sitting on a train with a cute lesbian couple next to me being all adorable. I’ll do my best because that is what I choose.
lost in transition 