cords

These past days, in social conversation, when not whispering, I may have remembered voice effort some 30-40% of the time which is a new personal record. It’s a beneficial effect of turmoils beginning of weekend, every time I am hurt I am spurred forward and can try to use the momentum. Will seek to do this now, will seek to habitualize and integrate. Almost last speech therapy session this day, and will start to get rid of old stuff in preparation for my move, including probably all the clothing I won’t wear again. Interesting.

Stress going strong, and I should probably spend some hours this afternoon delving into the hardest/scariest work part. Yeah. Will try to do that. Then cleaning out can be a reward tonight.

Moreover, continuing to process the idea of surgery. It’s one of those weird things where I keep talking about it to help make the thought real to myself, but I don’t feel affect strongly either way. So many things in the way and around it, so far outside familiar scopes, still something I notice myself moving towards wanting on some level, but the want is the precursor, the pretemporal ghost of a want. I’m slowly letting myself get comfortable with the idea, I suppose.