anchoring

So, a little over a week of HRT. Big caveats that it is impossible to tell my own mental work from direct effects, and ultimately all that is meaningful involves both – what is my brain and body doing when it undergoes these things?

Most interesting: I think I believe in my own process, and in my own womanhood, better with this. I feel slightly different in my body. Noticing it now as I type it. Slightly more relaxed in the movements, in the moving parts, in the stillness. Feeling better glancing over curves when showering. Feeling less judgmental over it, more thinking of myself as a woman as a matter of course? Having come out now almost everywhere (and being in some regards visible) plays a part too, perhaps, but this feeling of body acceptance, that may have some of its roots here. Smells are beginning to be different too, mostly so far in that they have faded. It’s not that I don’t notice masculine smells, I may be becoming more receptive to them from others, and surprisingly also a little excited by them, not much, but a little.

Tiny NSFW part, noting how erections are significantly remote and with them, also some attention drag towards genital parts I had not quite thought of. Mostly liking, but I don’t want skin shrinkage there quite yet, so want to make sure they still happen occasionally for maintenance. Not getting sex with others much where I live right now, so ought to self-pleasure, but finding that it feels cumbersome to take the time to do so even weekly. Of course, this was sort of true before hormones as well, not sure what it says about me. Should try if the magic wand response is even better now, I suppose. Breasts feel like they may be a little more sensitive, but I would need the touch of another person to be able to tell. And the thought of being cuddled feels very appealing.