So, apparently, even with family knowing I may transition, but not referring to me as me because I have not asked them explicitly to change their words for me, I do feel less worried but not so much less sad. In other news, I seem to care more and more about being actually spoken of as/known as S****, the aunt, the sister, the girl, she who indeed has done all the things I have done, and when language does not reflect this, there is increasingly sadness as a result. Interesting.
Feeling less and less inclined to self-misgender, getting reluctant to sign anything with my old name unless I have to. This means sending more and more work mails without a signature, which is sort of rude, but is less stressful when it is an option I can take. Wonder where this will go?
lost in transition 